


The Anesthesiologist and The Queen

by henghost



Series: My (non-fan)Fiction [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Other, Terrorism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henghost/pseuds/henghost
Summary: Q&A session with The Anesthesiologist re: her relationship with The Queen.
Series: My (non-fan)Fiction [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840654
Kudos: 1





	The Anesthesiologist and The Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Reuploaded.

Q: Can you describe your Model for us? We can see it, obviously, but I want to hear  you describe it.

A: I am an anesthesiologist. Blue scrubs and a teal hairnet sort of thing — I don’t know all the terminology. My diploma is fake. Don’t tell anyone, ha ha. Back there, past where you can see, I have huge canisters of knockout gas and pain-killing gas. If you upset me I will use it on you. Oh but you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Here I have my face-mask, and I can detach it and reattach it with a simple press of a button. Let me pan the camera down: now here are my sneakers. Nice, aren’t they? Long shifts require ample support. No I suppose it isn’t strictly conventional for an anesthesiologist to wear a skirt, or tights, but they look nice don’t they? I would be here more if I didn’t have so many pressing anesthesiological concerns to which to attend. Anyway.

#

Q: So are you even real?

A: I am in fact real. In a manner of speaking. I am here inside a real and physical body with real and physical vocal cords through which I am speaking to you now. But then again: Are actors real? Maybe an actor with friends and family is real but is a lonely actor real? Basically it’s unimportant.

#

Q: What did you think of The Queen when you first met her. (Him?)

A: I still prefer to use feminine pronouns when referring to The Queen, and she has affirmed this decision. When I first met her I thought — and keep in mind that it took quite a while for me to see her “physical dimension”; for the longest time I could only see her Model — I thought she was beautiful, first of all, obviously, but also that she was a genius. In some of our earliest correspondence she told me about her theories and her beliefs. She spent a lot of time telling me what exactly “Propaganda of the Deed” meant. Now, this was nearly as terrifying as it was enthralling. The United States Anarchist movement in the early twentieth century was very into this idea. The man who assassinated President McKinley was an Anarchist. Did you know that?

Anyway The Queen was fascinated by this sort of philosophy. Political violence in general. An Anarchist named The Queen? Funny, isn’t it? All of you see her looking like that. That is to say: looking beautiful. But this is what she thinks about. Funny. At least I thought it was. It was the passion that really drew me in. I wanted more and more and more. I thought she was so right. I still think that. I mean look at the world around us at the moment. Sorry. Not to be too much of a downer.

#

Q: Are you tired of the Q&A format?

A: I suppose I am a bit tired of it. I mean how many have we done now? Quite a few. I think it would depress me to count. But it has its utility. It’s not as though I can speak to all of you, I mean really speak to you, but still this format has the quality of a real actual conversation, and that makes me feel a little less lonely, and I’m sure it has the same effect on all of you. And isn’t that what why we’re all here? It’s all been so especially lonely recently. Hasn’t it? I hope I can provide some comfort. So yeah.

#

Q: Are you currently on any medication?

A: I am in fact currently on a regiment of Wellbutrin. Fifty milligrams daily. I know that admitting this is admitting some sort of flaw, when really I in my role as The Anesthesiologist should have no flaws whatsoever, but I have accepted this question in order to say: it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. No one is perfect. Not even me, although I come pretty damn close. There is nothing wrong with weakness.

After these most recent events I signed up for an appointment with a psychiatrist, and they gave me the prescription. Doctors need doctors too!

I used to — before I was The Anesthesiologist — be something of a mess. I won’t even tell you. I think it would just be depressing if I told you. I’m doing much better now, don’t worry. You all have helped me, too. Becoming The Anesthesiologist has helped me a great deal. 

I will say, however: Sometimes I get this feeling like loneliness when so many thousands of you are here, speaking to me through fake names and fake words, and I get to wondering: am I really so important? I love you all, of course. Don’t get me wrong. I would kiss you all smack on the lips if I were right there with you. But there is no helping what I feel.

#

Q: All due respect, I think most of us just want to hear about your relationship with The Queen, what with all the recent scandal.

A: That is not a question! But I see where you’re coming from. Well in those early days there was a lot of coyness. We were both very coy. Me especially. Oh it gives me great pain to remember just how coy I was. It can be difficult to cross the barrier between colleague and friend and something further than that. 

There was all this talk of terrorism, and gradually it became talk (or more accurately, flirtation) along the lines of: so what exactly do you look like? You know, physically? Now here is where I became worried. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation — this was all via DM — shifted so drastically. Some question of physical action, a question that concerned the ethics of violence for the greater good. That sort of thing, I think. And I suppose all that talk of bodies and bodies and bodies turned into talk about our own bodies. It made me very uncomfortable.

Then around this time she told me: I am in fact a man. 

What do you mean by that? I asked her. 

I mean, she said, in “real life” I am in fact a male member of the species, cisgendered, XY, etc. etc. I’m only pretending with the Model. I guess it’s more profitable that way. Or something. Do you want me to send you a picture?

And I told her — again, this is the pronoun setup we both prefer — I told her: I think if you did that it would ruin things. So no.

You would’ve thought it would be quite the paradigm shift to learn about The Queen’s “true nature,” but in the end it wasn’t really such a big deal. You would’ve thought that I The Anesthesiologist (i.e. a clinician) would place a lot of emphasis on the exact makeup of someone’s real and physical body, but in this instance I didn’t care one bit. I still enjoyed her company a great deal, let’s say. I still pictured her in my head as a more lifelike version of her (beautiful) Model. I read her DMs in the highly feminine voice her Model used, which must have been put through some kind of modifier to sound that way. Not much changed. I suppose if anything I thought about her  _ more. _

#

Q: See any good movies recently?

A: I did actually see quite a good movie the other day. I rented a digital copy from Amazon. I forget the title but I remember the plot. Should I tell you? If you don’t want spoilers, close your ears! 

So okay it stars a certain  _ Tom Cruise. _ I take it you all have heard of him? He plays a kind of social worker. A psychiatrist, for all intents and purposes. Mostly the movie’s a romance between Cruise and one of his clients, this woman who is beautiful but also maybe a little unhinged. I can’t remember the name of the actress. Anyway she starts seeing Cruise after murdering her son. The reason she murdered her son was because she was convinced that she was Cleopatra III of Egypt reincarnated, and that her son was plotting to have her assassinated, just as the “real” son of the “real” Cleopatra III of Egypt had done. So she does a bit of a preemptive strike.

The bulk of it concerns her coming to terms with her past actions and at the same time falling in love with Cruise’s character. They take an acting class together. Cruise, too, has some soul-searching to do. But in the end they get together and stay together. For their acting class they have to do a play. The idea is: if the woman can act successfully in the play without coming to believe that she is the character she is playing, that will prove that the therapy has been successful. For Cruise it will be a success if he can manage to overcome his crippling shyness to deliver an important monologue in the final act. (By the way, I think it’s funny when good actors act like they are bad actors.)

Then the film ends when Cruise is, on the play’s opening night, which has so far been an unmitigated triumph, about to deliver his monologue, which is about his character (a robot) coming to terms with his literal heartlessness — “I may be a machine, but I have a  _ soul! _ ” and that kind of thing. And when he is a couple lines in —  _ splat!  _ A stage light falls on his head and he dies instantly. The final shot is of his client-turned-girlfriend smiling at the sight of her therapist-turned-boyfriend’s head turned to jelly, like this was what she had been planning all along.

I read somewhere that Cruise received real injuries filming this final scene. 

I thought it was really good. Cryptic. I forget who directed it. Now that I think about it it’s probably really boring to hear someone describe the plot of a movie.

#

Q: What was the wisest thing The Queen ever said?

A: One time she told me: “Think of the difference between a poster and a bomb. Think of the difference between ‘genre fiction’ and ‘literary fiction’. The difference between alcohol and cyanide. These differences are the reason there will never be a real Revolution™.” 

#

Q: So did you and The Queen ever sleep together?

A: In a manner of speaking. It was only ever text-based. Even phone sex was too extreme for us, too much of a trespass. I still found it quite effective. For those couple months we were “together” I thought about her quite a bit. I lay in my bed and allowed the vision of her Model to light me up from the inside out. It’s a tad embarrassing, but trying to picture what her “physical dimension” might look like was something of a turn-off.

I’m not sure, however, that she was ever as “into it” as I was. This fact led to interactions like this:

Me: Oh yeah I like that

Her: Should I keep going?

Me: Yeah just like that just like that ooh!

Her: Do you think there’s any merit to the idea that the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001, were perpetrated at least in part as part of a mass ritual, for lack of a better word? That the taking of life had some kind of “magical” effect?

Her: It’s common knowledge that W. was reading to children at the time the first plane hit the WTC but do you know what book he was reading? Look it up: it’s pretty Satanic.

Her: Not that I have anything against Satanism.

#

Q: How exactly did she die?

A: Well by this point it’s all a matter of public record, of course. Her “physical dimension”’s “real name” is widely available, but I refuse to use it. The President has used her name, but still I refuse to. There are photos and even videos, and I have seen them, but I would recommend  _ not _ seeing them for yourself.

I suppose I should have anticipated it. Toward the end The Queen became increasingly let’s say unrestrained. More let’s say violent. Oh she was radical alright. It’s not as though I didn’t agree with her when she spoke of what made her angry, it’s only that she was more intent. That is to say, her ideation had turned to intent. I don’t know where or how she obtained the explosives. I do know she turned up at the detention facility dressed as The Queen. A bit of cosplay extremism.

I thought the New York Times article was quite good. Unbiased. The picture they ran beside the article, however, of her severed cock stuck up red and tumescent against the beige-brown rock a mile from the site of explosion, was perhaps a little tasteless. I am slightly ashamed to admit that upon seeing it I had to rush to my bathroom to vomit. There I go with the admitting weakness again, although this was probably the effect she wanted to have.

She killed two guards, and it’s not confirmed but there is speculation that upwards of three detainees managed to escape in the kerfuffle. So it’s not as though she sacrificed her life for nothing. That being said, however, I’m not sure how successful she was on the “hearts and minds” front. I don’t anticipate there being any policy change.

Supposedly she published a kind of manifesto online, which I understand received quite good reviews from those who are interested in that sort of thing, but I haven’t been able to find it, and if I ever did find it I would not read it. I choose to remember her as The Queen. There are thousands of hours of footage of her acting as The Queen. Bubbly and cute and kind and beautiful. That is how I choose to remember her.

#

Q: Will you remain in your role as The Anesthesiologist?

A: I will! Thank you for asking. I have recovered from the shock of these recent events. The Company has recovered financially. There is no reason for me to quit being The Anesthesiologist. I love being The Anesthesiologist! And I love all of you! I feel ready now to return to my old schedule. From now on, check your timelines daily to discover when I will be here next, if you can manage to spot my announcement between the headlines which indicate that it is all at last coming to a close.

Until next time!


End file.
